As I sat tonight working in the temple it occurred to me that my life has had some very crucial phases that I've been passing through.  First was family life til about 18 years old until I moved out.
Second actually started my junior or senior year in high school when I began juggling multiple responsibilities all at once.  Family life was pretty crazy and difficult and I was spending my home time helping take care of kids and babies, cleaning and keeping up the home while the rest of my time was spent with lots of classes, trying to maintain good grades, working, and as the young woman's president and the seminary president.  Then things finally started to calm down a little after I graduated and began my own life and deciphering who I wanted to become rather than just my family's daughter and sister.
Third was when I stopped taking classes and moved to Tennessee to iron things out with dad and save up for a mission.  It was mainly a time of waiting.  It was a time to put more effort into seeing things from different perspectives, trying to understand what was truth and what was not.  Also a big time for observing other families and what kind of family format I personally wanted to have one day.
Fourth was the mission, being a servant, loving, serving, studying, and tons of praying and working with people I may or may not have been fully able to understand.  I had to be submissive and not so free.  Lots of laughing, lots of sadness, frustration and disappointment.  Learning to make do with nothing.  Praying for safety, trying to follow my instincts, learning what is from God and what is from man.

Fifth has been the last two years after the mission.  I have worked at the temple a year and eight months now.  I've learned about finding peace in quiet places and in the outdoors.  I have been both very social and completely nonsocial.  I have spent a good chunk of time dating someone that I maybe shouldn't have.  I've learned a lot of patience and about different kinds of love, and that you can love anyone, it just takes more work to love some and for others it just comes naturally.  In these past couple years I've really become more ME rather what someone else wants me to be.  I've been volunteering a TON and learning a lot about people in general.  I've  discovered my judgmental side, my goofy side, my weaknesses and my biggest frustrations.  I've come to doubt some things, mainly my biggest dreams... but I may have always doubted them, simply not to this extent.  So instead I am turning to achieve other dreams.  I'm about to begin the next phase of life.  If I cannot achieve the first dream/goal I can simply move on to plan B.  If God decides my biggest dreams can become actuality in my life then following plan B won't stop Him.  Things pertaining to plan A seem to be out of my control and therefore as I move on to B God will provide if that is His will.  I am satisfied for now without A even though it is what I have always lived and planned for.  I can't just waste life away waiting for it when I have no control over it.  Time to continue life.  I have prayed about it and feel good about it and yet, can't help but wonder if I am cutting all ties with the possibilities of A coming about by turning towards B.  If anyone else reads this I'm sure they'll be baffled, but it's ok... It's just my crazy life.