When the calls and conversations

Accidents and accusations

Messages and misperceptions

Paralyze my mind

Busses, cars, and airplanes leavin’

Burnin’ fumes of gasoline and

Everyone is running and I

Come to find a refuge in the

Easy silence that you make for me

It’s ok when there’s nothing more to say to me

And the peaceful quiet you create for me

And the way you keep the world at bay for me

The way you keep the world at bay

Monkeys on the barricades

Are warning us to back away

They form commissions trying to find

The next one they can crucify

And anger plays on every station

Answers only make more questions

I need something to believe in

Breathe in sanctuary in the

Easy silence that you make for me

It’s ok when there’s nothing more to say to me

And the peaceful quiet you create for me

And the way you keep the world at bay for me

The way you keep the world at bay

Children lose their youth too soon

Watching war made us immune

And I’ve got all the world to lose

But I just want to hold on to the

Easy silence that you make for me

It’s ok when there’s nothing more to say to me

And the peaceful quiet you create for me

And the way you keep the world at bay for me

The easy silence that you make for me

It’s ok when there’s nothing more to say to me

And the peaceful quiet you create for me

And the way you keep the world at bay for me

The way you keep the world at bay for me

The way you keep the world at bay

 -Easy Silence by Dan Wilson

Sometimes I get tired of people believing I'm not passionate about anything, or that I don't have dreams I'm striving towards.  I'm not sure where they get that idea, because I'm full of dreams and passions.  The difference between myself and many others is that I have various things I dream of and sometimes, there being so many I think people assume I'm not set on any one of them.  So on that note, these are the things I am passionate about and that I strive for in my life.
1. Family.  I've seen it fall apart and I know the importance of being close-knit, and that is what I am preparing for in my future.  I love kids.  After years of working with autistic kids, in daycares, elementary schools and as a nanny, they are the sweetest and most innocent people in life.  They are not fake and they are honest. 
2. Running.  There's nothing like working really hard on your own and pushing yourself til you can't go anymore, and feeling like you're about to collapse from exhaustion, but continuing with all your strength, and putting mind over matter til you cross that line with victory, knowing you've succeeded and even achieved a faster time than before, knowing you're stronger and faster because of your hard work and determination.  It's exhilirating!
3. The outdoors.  I love the sun, and being in it and being able to soak in the world we often ignore due to our busy lives.  I love hiking to a summit and seeing the whole world laying at your feet, and the expanse of the sky for as far as the eyes can reach.  I love hearing rivers and birds, the wind and the rustling of branches in the trees, I love the beach and hearing the waves crash along the shore, or feeling the seaspray on my face.  I love the night sky when all the stars are brighter than in the city and it seems there are innumerable masses of them flickering back at me.  I love the desert and its sagebrush or tumbleweeds, the mountains standing majestically, lightning storms that fill up the whole sky brigher than fourth of july, or a really hard rain storm when it's raining so hard you can't see a few feet in front of you.  I love feeling apart of all this and like it doesn't matter if I don't fit in in the rest of the world.
4. The church.  Yes, that's right, cheesey or not, I love it and will never leave it, and it composes a very large chunk of my life.  I may doubt it in my lowest times at the points I don't understand, nonetheless I will never leave it and I will always stay true to it.  It has made me much of who I am.
5. Adventure.  Be that serving a mission, moving to a new place, learning a language, or anything new for that matter, I love new and exciting things.  I like learning different things.  I like new books, or new music, or new art in the art museums.  I like to go on road trips or go driving and get lost looking at big houses in the hills or finding a dirt road to explore, I love to go look at city lights or at Christmas time exploring to find the best-lit house.  I like meeting new people (or people watching) and trying new foods.  I love feeling like I've learned something new that maybe I can share with friends. 

There we go.  Now no one can say I have nothing I live for, and that I don't strive for dreams... 

Somewhere beyond the sea

somewhere waiting for me
my lover stands on golden sands
and watches the ships that go sailin'
Somewhere beyond the sea
she's there watching for me
If I could fly like birds on high
then straight to her arms
I'd go sailin'
It's far beyond the stars
it's near beyond the moon
I know beyond a doubt
my heart will lead me there soon
We'll meet beyond the shore
we'll kiss just as before
Happy we'll be beyond the sea
and never again I'll go sailin'
I know beyond a doubt
my heart will lead me there soon
We'll meet (I know we'll meet) beyond the shore
We'll kiss just as before
Happy we'll be beyond the sea
and never again I'll go sailin'

no more sailin'
so long sailin'
bye bye sailin'...
move on out captain

-Bobby Darin

At a recent fireside with Richard Paul Evans, the author of The Christmas Box, he quoted something his father told him as a boy.  He said something to the effect that some people feared that the earth was flat and they knew their ships were safe in the harbor.  We, too, are like the ships and may sometimes feel safe in our harbor and be wary about venturing out too far, but one must remember that ships are meant to sail.  If we are too afraid to pursue our dreams, nothing will happen, we will never discover new places, never have adventures and we will learn little.  We must follow our dreams.  We can't be afraid of failure because by failure we learn to succeed!

I haven't written in a couple MONTHS!  But then, no big deal.  Life's been crazy as it gets!  I'm finally thinking I'm over my last boyfriend and on with normal day to day life.  I'm trying to avoid falling into criticizing men and thinking they are all jerks... that doesn't do any of us any good, right?  In the meantime I've found myself extremely busy with so many delightful ways to spend my time!  I didn't even realize it was possible to do so much with so little time while working fulltime!  Sometimes it wears me out, but nonetheless, it's fascinating!  I can spend a couple days here, a couple there, an hour or two here, another there, by so doing, I can volunteer at the Red Cross, the temple, the mtc, as a mentor, and make stuff for orphanages, train for a half marathon, attend all my church activities, learn languages and how to do family history all at once!  Granted I don't achieve any of those goals right away, rather, it takes forever, or I can only give a little time every here and there, but it adds some spice to life and gives me the variety I need to keep me from running off to a new state too soon.  Actually I was thinking about learning a language and teaching in another country... ah, how amazing it'd be... except possibly terrifying, too!  Anyhow.  It'll take awhile to learn a language and get certified to do that in the first place, and at the rate I'm accomplishing things I'll need a few years.