Oh the beauty of flying.  The flight attendants give the same usual safety instructions and those aboard politely ignore.  The children holler, the fat man beside you snores loudly and hogs the armrest the entire way there.  Generally the trip is boring and uneventful.  Sometimes you can manage to get a little shuteye depending on your seat and your neighbor, otherwise the boredom can lead you flipping through the magazine from the pocket in front of you and maybe even attempting one of those rediculous crossword puzzles or a quaint little game of sodoku.  A window seat is preferable for two reasons; one, the view, and two, ... well, the view.  An aisle seat reassures you of people climbing over a couple times to use the bathroom, those walking down the aisle may kindly bump into you, and drinks and trash will most assuredly be passed over you couple times, plus there's not a thing to rest your head on.  The middle seat is even worse, seeing as you will be stuck between two strangers, and generally that's just what they are, strange.  They could be children you end up helping to tend, or people with bad hygiene blocking off the fresh air on either side of you, or, as in the case of a young lady last weekend flying home for the Christmas break, it could be a grouchy old couple that don't want to sit together but do, however, want to fight over you.

On this most lovely trip I ever so carefully chose a window seat, as usual, and promptly began napping; seeing as my neighbor was a boring business man unwilling to strike up conversation, and seeing as I wasn't all that interested in talking either, I found a little nap to be in my favor.  Across the aisle from me sat a young lady perhaps about my age who unfortunately could find no aisle or window seat, and found herself seated between this elderly couple, the man being somewhat gruff in manner, bent over and white haired.  The woman I could not see from my angle.  They talked over her throughout the trip and passed things back and forth over her, even argued around her but when she offered to let them sit together they declined.  Perhaps halfway through my nap I was awakened by the elderly man yelling and, looking up, I found that two flight attendants, and man and woman, both stood answering to the elderly gentleman's concerns.  He got out of his seat and seemed to have some complaint about it.  The man flight attendant reassured him, but upon finding the aged man noncompliant, the attendant himself took the gentleman's seat to prove the safety of it.  He buckled himself in, and then began to throw himself forward and backward as would a small child unwilling to be strapped in.  The entire seat seemed to move with his thrashing, creating quite a scene, but the buckle held true.  The elderly man was not satisfied.  He continued grumbling and twisting his seatbelt and tying it into knots.  The woman attendant brought him an extension of the seat belt in hopes that he would acquiesce and sit calm the rest of the flight.  He hollered at her that he wished to know their names, claiming that they were an awful crew, but the poor young lady beside him, having had quite enough, also asked the woman's name asserting, "I think you are a wonderful crew, and this man is simply DILUSIONAL!"  She told him how unkind and rude he was being and various times asked him to stop.  Several surrounding passengers also offered him their seats but all offers were denied. 

It was a long, and rather amusing trip, and my nap was completely disrupted.  Besides all that, there was an odd old woman seated behind me hacking up loogies the whole way and from the sounds of her conversation with the man with her, I think age had robbed her of her sanity.  She would yell in a loud, hoarse voice, "what is that?!" the quiet, calm reply beside her, "those are clouds dear, we're in an airplane."  She somehow managed to shove her foot between the wall and my seat, so that I could not rest my arm on the rest, nor my head on the wall without leaning on it, so it was rather odd and akward, but I didn't feel comfortable asking her to remove it. 

On my connecting flight I sat beside a young girl who had recently joined the Navy.  She came aboard in full uniform, and the large man in the aisle seat offered her the seat between us.  Despite being rather swallowed up in my book, I couldn't help but follow their conversation, and it, too, amused me.  He asked her what branch she was in, "the Navy", she replied, and how did she like it?  After a brief pause, she answered rather dramatically, "it's not fun at all!"  "oh." said the man, and he seemed unsure what to say next.  After a moment or two, he humbly, almost grovelling, said, "thankyou so much for what you do for our country."  At this point, the melancholy man and girl with an air of 'oh wo is me' nearly nauseated me!  Being, myself, a Marine Corps brat, I have a strong sense of patriotism and a natural love for the military, and on many occasions have debated whether or not to join myself.  I would find it an honor, an adventure, and quite an experience!  What's more, the military takes care of you, there are plenty of benefits and they often put you through school or help pay off loans.  They get you in shape physically, teach you discipline and leadership and much more.  I could scarcely believe this man was honoring some dumb girl who hadn't even been through training yet, truly hasn't done anything heroic for our country, and is only in the Navy, as she later confessed, because all she wanted was to go to sea.... SO heroic and honor-worthy!  Such a show of patriotism and love of country!  She explained how strict it was and how the army boot camp was across the street, so they had to "set an example".  My eye!  She could do a better job setting an example on the plane!  We common citizens seem to have a glowing image in our head of people in uniforms saving our lives, wearing halos, if you will, and we forget that they, too, are human and they don't all save lives. 

Anyway, off my soapbox.  Her air of drama filled our row to a sickening level, so I ignored them and got swallowed up even more in my book of Les Miserable... Jean Valjean was just getting arrested at the bedside of Cossette who lay dying, and it was quite a climactic moment.  Past and petty crimes were calling for justice, the very law breaking down the door, but present changes of morals and strict angelic goodness and virtue, charity and goodwill were simultaneously screaming for mercy.  Justice was winning the battle and despite Jean Valjean's life being completely changed for good, he was, nonetheless, being sent back to the gallows for life.  The city would lose its good mayor, and thus it's prosperity as well, Cossette and Fantine would both probably die, and the story would come to a miserable end... but alas, what is this?  I'm abruptly called out of my story, the man two seats down handing me a paper.  "What is it?" I ask.  To get a drink.  My first thought was, doesn't he know drinks are complementary?  Until it occurred to me that he was offering me a coupon for alcoholic drinks, which, seeing as I don't drink, I graciously declined but thanked him for his kindness.  What a strange flight!  Truly!  To go from the cranky old man with seatbelt issues and the crazy lady with her foot in my side, to Jean Valjean, the Navy and alcohol coupons!  Aren't you so glad for modern technology allowing us to travel side by side such diverse people?  It's a wonderful thing!