I'm restless.  Day turns to night, the sun sets behind the great, white powdered mountains.  The green fades to gray, the leaves all slip away.  Days shorten, the cold nights are steadily longer.  I fight to maintain my summer mood, still yearn to see the sun rise each day, only wishing it would last longer.  My life is ever changing, yet still at a stand-still.  Fighting these road blocks and trying to ignore the ambulence lights going off in my head. 
Where's the sun?  They seem to think they can compensate for the bad weather by stringing up bright shining lights, and true, they do lighten the mood and cause excitement, but they don't warm my face when I look at them, they don't bring back the green, the Saturday hikes, nor the free feeling of flying down the road on two wheels, or hearing my feet pounding out the miles in the community races.  Funny how everyone else is finally waking up, speeding along in life, while I've come to confused stop, but why? 

Something's not right.  I can't seem to move and I don't know where I am.  I try to express myself but the faces around me are strange and don't comprehend my slurred words, incohesively pouring out.  Where am I?  What happened?  Did I do this or what is it that happened?  Why the commotion?  I'd love to help, but I think I'm the one they're trying to figure out.  Was it the snowy roads?  A drunk driver?  Was I texting again?  I can't seem to remember.  Where's my....?  But then who was with me?  Not family, not friend, was there someone even along the way?  I'm always so careful to follow the lines, be considerate of other drivers, follow the lights and signs, follow detours and traffic laws even when they seem trivial, so would could possibly have landed me here at such a dead end destination?  I must have missed something somewhere along the way, I guess there's only so much retrospection until you come to the point where it doesn't matter, you are where you are and can only wonder, what next?  Will I somehow always be inhibited for this, or will I move on from it only wiser and more experienced?  What am I to do to move on from here?  Perhaps I did nothing wrong, and this is merely the course my life must take, but what if I did?  Won't someone tell me?  Or was it someone else?  Did I get hit?  Or was it a mere turn of nature against me?

Where is the sun?  I can't seem to see, and I'm blindly groping about for the right way to turn, trying to determine my route or even recall where it was I wanted to go.  I seem to have no one to guide me.  They all offer opinions, "go left", "go right", "no, turn another 45 degrees", "actually go the opposite direction".  Do I even know who you are?  Where are you directing me?  Who am I to go to?  Is there anyone I can fully trust to find my way, especially when I don't recall my destination?  So I cover my ears, and stand still, trying to recall some glimpse of a memory to hold to despite the ambulence lights again going off in my head.  I can't trust the dark world yelling about me, not one inch of it, and I haven't any experience to go off of, but perhaps if I can simply make decisions and stand by them, at least I'll arrive somewhere, right?  I only hope it's a good place, where night doesn't prevail, where I can see the green again and feel the warmth of the sun  on my face.